1 large bowl of wheat berries with skim milk. I need to measure before next time.
Time: 10:45 am--I need to eat earlier next time.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Back on the wagon!
Well, it is a weekday, and I worked out this morning. (Yoga) I think that counts as exercise. It sure does feel good!
I am going to keep track of everything I eat. I think I am at that point. It is like the first step to budgeting--seeing how much you are REALLY spending in a month. I need to SEE what I am REALLY taking into my body each day. Time to get real on what is holding me back from being healthy.
Also, I am thinking about starting to say some positive affirmations about my body each day. I keep telling it how ugly and horrible it is (in my mind), and I need to let it know that it is wonderful. I think it is kind of like a good form of brainwashing. I've brainwashed myself to the fact that I have an imperfect body by telling it nasty things for as long as I can remember. Now I need to tell it, honestly, that I am glad I have it and that it is truly great. I can do that.
Here are some affirmations:
I have a wonderful, healthy, hard-working body that does everything I ask of it.
I am beautiful. (that one is hard to swallow, but I am brainwashing, i tell you!)
I have been blessed with this amazing body so I can bless the lives of others.
I will take extraordinary care of this fabulous body I have been given so I can accomplish all the things I need to every day.
Okay--I will repeat those a few times every day. I'll let you know how it works.
I am going to keep track of everything I eat. I think I am at that point. It is like the first step to budgeting--seeing how much you are REALLY spending in a month. I need to SEE what I am REALLY taking into my body each day. Time to get real on what is holding me back from being healthy.
Also, I am thinking about starting to say some positive affirmations about my body each day. I keep telling it how ugly and horrible it is (in my mind), and I need to let it know that it is wonderful. I think it is kind of like a good form of brainwashing. I've brainwashed myself to the fact that I have an imperfect body by telling it nasty things for as long as I can remember. Now I need to tell it, honestly, that I am glad I have it and that it is truly great. I can do that.
Here are some affirmations:
I have a wonderful, healthy, hard-working body that does everything I ask of it.
I am beautiful. (that one is hard to swallow, but I am brainwashing, i tell you!)
I have been blessed with this amazing body so I can bless the lives of others.
I will take extraordinary care of this fabulous body I have been given so I can accomplish all the things I need to every day.
Okay--I will repeat those a few times every day. I'll let you know how it works.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
My journey begins
I weighed myself the other night. 208. WHAAAAT? Just a year ago, I weighed between 185 and 190. That is 25 pounds in one year. Yikes!
And what have I done differently? Granted, I have a lot of stress in my life. A lot.
The reason I wanted to do this blog is to explore why I do what I do. Why I don't like to be heavy, but I can rationalize to myself that I can have all the junk food that I want. I work out so much, and I like to work hard, but then I have two bowls of ice cream. (Incidentally, I want two bowls of ice cream now.)
Why do I work so hard and then throw it all away because I have to have a treat?
I am obsessed with food. I feel deprived if I can't have whatever I want (or whatever anyone else is having). I think about what I will have, what treat I'll make next, or what I can eat all day long, even if I am not hungry at all.
I am an emotional eater. Not like I eat when I am depressed or something, but that I eat to feel good. I love food.
Yet I want to be healthy. I want to have a fit body. Even my patriarchal blessing talks about taking good care of my body. Good nutrition and health. That is the Lord's counsel to me. Why do I have such a hard time with that?
I want to understand myself. I want to beat back this demon. I want to be free of addiction and obsession. That is why I am doing this blog. I learn as I write and think and put things "out there." So here I am.
There is another aspect that I also want to explore--confession.
Do I need to confess (or be accountable) in this area of my life? Perhaps. So here I am.
This is for me and no one else--that is not meant to be selfish, but maybe it is self-serving. In a good way.
I hope.
And what have I done differently? Granted, I have a lot of stress in my life. A lot.
The reason I wanted to do this blog is to explore why I do what I do. Why I don't like to be heavy, but I can rationalize to myself that I can have all the junk food that I want. I work out so much, and I like to work hard, but then I have two bowls of ice cream. (Incidentally, I want two bowls of ice cream now.)
Why do I work so hard and then throw it all away because I have to have a treat?
I am obsessed with food. I feel deprived if I can't have whatever I want (or whatever anyone else is having). I think about what I will have, what treat I'll make next, or what I can eat all day long, even if I am not hungry at all.
I am an emotional eater. Not like I eat when I am depressed or something, but that I eat to feel good. I love food.
Yet I want to be healthy. I want to have a fit body. Even my patriarchal blessing talks about taking good care of my body. Good nutrition and health. That is the Lord's counsel to me. Why do I have such a hard time with that?
I want to understand myself. I want to beat back this demon. I want to be free of addiction and obsession. That is why I am doing this blog. I learn as I write and think and put things "out there." So here I am.
There is another aspect that I also want to explore--confession.
Do I need to confess (or be accountable) in this area of my life? Perhaps. So here I am.
This is for me and no one else--that is not meant to be selfish, but maybe it is self-serving. In a good way.
I hope.
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