1/23/12 Food Report

9 AM--breakfast: water, breakfast sandwich (260 cal.)

11:30 AM--mid-morning snack: yogurt (80 cal.)

3:30 PM--lunch--green smoothie

6:30PM--dinner--2 large bowls italian sausage-potato soup with 3 breadsticks

Food report 3/29/11

breakfast: sandwich 9:30 AM 260 cal

lunch: beef and brocc 12 PM

snack: protein shake 3 PM 160 cal

Food report 3/28/11

breakfast-- sandwich 9:30 AM 260 calories

snack-- protein shake 11:45 AM 160 calories

snack-- protein shake 2:30 PM 160 calories

pepper 1:30 PM 35 calories

yogurt 80 calories

Food Report 3/19/11

Breakfast: sandwich 260 cal. 9:45 AM

Snack: protein shake 160 cal. 1 PM

Lunch: taco 5 PM

Snack: yogurt 80 cal 3 PM

Dinner:

Food Report 3/18/2011

Pre-workout: shake 160 cal. 8:30 AM

Breakfast: sandwich 260 cal. 10:30 AM

Snack: yogurt 80 cal. 12:30 PM

Lunch:

Today

Breakfast: 1 cup steel-cut oats, 1/2 c. skim milk

Lunch: bowl of stir-fry--no rice

Snack: 1/2 c. cottage cheese

Dinner: 2 bowls of beef macaroni soup

1 small bowl chicken noodle soup

1/2 piece bread and butter

Exercise: 35 minutes on treadmill

30-34: 2 mph

1-5, 10, 15, 27-30, 35: 3 mph

6, 11, 16, 20, 25-26: 4 mph

7, 12, 17, 21: 5 mph

8, 13, 18, 22: 5.5 mph

9, 14, 19, 23: 6 mph

24: 6.5 mph

chewed a couple of pieces of gum to get through snack-y times

Another add to the list

I learned something else by trial and error (heavy on the error--no pun intended):

• don't eat off your kids plates. even if they are wasting perfectly good food. it is their food, not yours. I'm worth my own plate with my own food, not the cast-offs of a temperamental child.

I sometimes go to my kids' school for lunch with them. I am usually in a rush to get child #3 to school, so I don't eat. There is my mistake. It is a little early for lunch, but I am usually ready to eat when I am there. But I don't want that to be my lunch meal, soooooo I need to keep my grubby paws of their chow. 'Nuf said. We won't even go into my hoarding/ultra-thrifty personality traits that make it challenging for me to throw away perfectly good food. I'll go lie on the couch and we'll have a therapy session one of these days. :)

The morale of the story is: don't let myself get dangerously hungry because then I make less-than-effective food choices (can we say icky dried-out school-lunch churros, anyone?).

Did pretty well today.

steel-cut oats w/sugar and skim powdered milk

no morning snack

bowl of taco soup for lunch

cottage cheese as afternoon snack (a little late--HUNGRY!)

bowl of beef stew, 2 plates salad for dinner

8 cups micro popcorn (160 cal) evening snack

this is where it gets challenging for me. the candy cane oreos are calling to me

I need to go to bed earlier.

I need to eat mindfully--not reading, or standing or watching TV. I need to recognize that my body is being fed.

I felt quite full after the oatmeal this morning. I felt pretty good until lunch-no need to eat.

After lunch I felt the cravings come. But tonight the cravings are intense. I am so used to getting something to snack on and going to my bed to read. I need to add that to my list of goals:

• no eating in bed while reading AT ALL!! chew gum if I need to
• get to bed earlier--I won't have as many cravings late at night!

Overall, I feel good about today but aware that my will power isn't so great. I almost gave in to the cookies SO MANY TIMES today!

I know that feeling good is so much better than the momentary pleasure on the tongue. I just have to create a mantra that I can repeat over and over so I can get through it.

Also, we don't have the treadmill set up yet. I am hoping we can do that soon--I really need to start moving! And going outside is NOT an option right now. Way too much snow and WAY TOO COLD!!!!!

Today is the day!

I am getting back on the wagon whether it kills me or not!

I weigh approx. 220, and I want to lose about 30 pounds in the next couple of months, to get ready to get pregnant again.

My goals:

• eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner
• portion control (NO seconds!)
• exercise 30 minutes/day (M-Sat)
• strength training T, Th, Sat

I will check in to let you know how I do.

4/15/2010

Breakfast: (need to add when I ate it)

Two bowls of Honey bunches of oats with skim (powdered) milk.

1 breakfast sandwich with whole wheat english muffin, scrambled eggs, 1 slice cheese, and 1 slice ham.

It is time to get serious

Today I got on the scale.

222.

Yikes!

My "ideal" body weight for my height is 125-164. I think that between 160 and 170 is a good goal. I'll start with 170 and cross any more bridges when I get there.

So Larry and I had a heart-to-heart. We are ready for a change. He thinks the alkaline diet is a good way to go. I am scared of that diet because it is so different than what I am used to. But I am willing to make changes. I just want them to be changes I can stick to for a lifetime.

We are going to start with breakfast. Breakfast will be different. That is the first baby step.

Here goes!

Well, back on the wagon...

I am sad to report that instead of going down on the scale, I've gone up.

To 218.8

Oh well. Might as well start now.

Any ideas about not getting discouraged before I even get started?

Breakfast 2/1/10

1 large bowl of wheat berries with skim milk. I need to measure before next time.
Time: 10:45 am--I need to eat earlier next time.

Back on the wagon!

Well, it is a weekday, and I worked out this morning. (Yoga) I think that counts as exercise. It sure does feel good!

I am going to keep track of everything I eat. I think I am at that point. It is like the first step to budgeting--seeing how much you are REALLY spending in a month. I need to SEE what I am REALLY taking into my body each day. Time to get real on what is holding me back from being healthy.

Also, I am thinking about starting to say some positive affirmations about my body each day. I keep telling it how ugly and horrible it is (in my mind), and I need to let it know that it is wonderful. I think it is kind of like a good form of brainwashing. I've brainwashed myself to the fact that I have an imperfect body by telling it nasty things for as long as I can remember. Now I need to tell it, honestly, that I am glad I have it and that it is truly great. I can do that.

Here are some affirmations:

I have a wonderful, healthy, hard-working body that does everything I ask of it.

I am beautiful. (that one is hard to swallow, but I am brainwashing, i tell you!)

I have been blessed with this amazing body so I can bless the lives of others.

I will take extraordinary care of this fabulous body I have been given so I can accomplish all the things I need to every day.

Okay--I will repeat those a few times every day. I'll let you know how it works.

My journey begins

I weighed myself the other night. 208. WHAAAAT? Just a year ago, I weighed between 185 and 190. That is 25 pounds in one year. Yikes!

And what have I done differently? Granted, I have a lot of stress in my life. A lot.

The reason I wanted to do this blog is to explore why I do what I do. Why I don't like to be heavy, but I can rationalize to myself that I can have all the junk food that I want. I work out so much, and I like to work hard, but then I have two bowls of ice cream. (Incidentally, I want two bowls of ice cream now.)

Why do I work so hard and then throw it all away because I have to have a treat?

I am obsessed with food. I feel deprived if I can't have whatever I want (or whatever anyone else is having). I think about what I will have, what treat I'll make next, or what I can eat all day long, even if I am not hungry at all.

I am an emotional eater. Not like I eat when I am depressed or something, but that I eat to feel good. I love food.

Yet I want to be healthy. I want to have a fit body. Even my patriarchal blessing talks about taking good care of my body. Good nutrition and health. That is the Lord's counsel to me. Why do I have such a hard time with that?

I want to understand myself. I want to beat back this demon. I want to be free of addiction and obsession. That is why I am doing this blog. I learn as I write and think and put things "out there." So here I am.

There is another aspect that I also want to explore--confession.

Do I need to confess (or be accountable) in this area of my life? Perhaps. So here I am.

This is for me and no one else--that is not meant to be selfish, but maybe it is self-serving. In a good way.

I hope.